Am I happy that I finally finished my four years of university education? My answer half a year ago would be entirely different from my answer now. Six months ago, I had just completed my thesis. I gotta say that at that point in time, I was seriously toying with the idea of doing a postgraduate degree. I thought I wasn't qualified at all to even think about it but strong recommendation from my thesis supervisor swayed me. And he wasn't the only one. There were a few other TAs or lecturers who also agreed that I shouldn't stop at just an undergraduate degree. Even so, I did not think that I would be able to last through another four years or so. I was only good at certain aspects of Economics. And this time, I knew who I would be up against if I do decide to take up a Master's or PhD. The much more mathematical content at graduate level would favour those who already had a background in engineering, mathematics or even statistics. Yet at the same time, I can't deny that I really love studying. I love it a lot more than the situation I envisioned myself to be in if I were to take up a job outside of academics. Not surprisingly, I began asking around for advice, seeing how I could get a sponsor if I were to further my studies, whether I should work for a few years first or carry on studying straight etc. This continued on for quite some time... Not until two people each told me something. What they said made me think hard, really hard. Only then did I realize that this was just a fleeting idealistic side of me.
"Perhaps now you've been studying a lot so you may think that Master's is for you. Have you thought that there are many things you may enjoy but it's just that you haven't really gotten to know what those things are? Who knows, you might eventually find something that you love doing."
This sentence sort of struck me. Actually, I think it's the same case with all my friends. Most of them prefer school life over work life. Hey, I mean is there anything better than being able to exercise your freedom to the maximum and choose the way you wanna lead your university education? In contrast, at work, you gotta be used to doing things you may not actually like and following instructions you may not agree with. In school, you get to learn the things you wanna learn, things you find interesting to learn. At work, you are forced to learn the things you need to learn, things you may not find one bit interesting to learn, things you may even hate. That's probably the mindset of many people I know. Precisely why people always say enjoy life as a student while you can. Yes, indeed, in my previous internship, there was one colleague who told me this as well. As a working adult, there are many things in life you cannot retrieve back when you were a student. Working life is a lot more restrictive than student life. I agreed. I agreed thoroughly. But one and a half year later, I realized why I agreed at that point in time and not anymore now.
"Can you imagine yourself in the kind of life you would have upon completing your PhD? You'll eventually be a Professor. But not just that, you will have to start initiating research topics on your own, find yourself the funding plus collaborators be it local or overseas and attend conferences from time to time. And be prepared it's gonna last for a long long time."
I think I was so carried away with the "goodness" of studying that I totally forgot to think about how life would be when I finish my studies. If you ask me, I don't actually enjoy having to initiate my own research topics, having to attend presentations after presentations, having to find interested parties who would be willing to collaborate with me on my project. Some people may say yeap, then I am definitely not suitable for research cos I can't even initiate research topics on my own. Then my response is I can do it for a while but not for the rest of my life. There comes a point that I want to cease being recognized for the research that I publish. Instead, I want my research to be translated to something tangible. I want it to be guided because I know there's now a pressing need somewhere in the world to study something. From my experience working as a research assistant, I feel that there are many times in which Professors engage in mindless research or maybe this holds only for certain courses. Like yeah, the research they're producing is interesting to read, interesting to know but after a while it stops at being "fun facts". Half the time or most of the time, the stuff they do is not gonna translate to action. I don't like to be in that position. I want the things I do to be useful.
Why do I no longer agree with the comment that working life is not as enjoyable as life as a student? It's because I am lucky enough to land myself a job that I really like. I know I really like it because I have been through it for almost four months now. In my previous internship, I didn't get to do what I like. In fact, I hated what I was doing. I recall how time was literally crawling during that period. Coupled with previous designations, it inevitably made me stereotype that working life is indeed gonna be like that. At that time, I had the choice to accept this as my first job. I am really glad that I wasn't rash. It sucks to be forced into doing something you hate just because of securing a job. My point is this. Most of us are stuck in our little world. Probably it may also be because my course is actually pretty general a degree. It's unlike say engineering. Those who know they're gonna be engineers after graduation only gotta choose the industry they wanna enter. For us, it's a bit tricky because there's really quite a lot of general jobs we can do. Yet it is not easy to find a specific technical job. Of course, as pragmatic a person as I am, I don't deny that many things in life do come with a bit of luck. It was luck that I got accepted as an intern amidst the competition. It was luck that there just happens to be one job vacancy that I can fill in. So never be too short-sighted and stubbornly deem one thing as the only possible thing you can imagine yourself doing for the rest of your life. If you don't venture out enough, you never know if there are other things out there you may enjoy a hell lot more.
