EC4401 Honours Thesis

Till today, this remains as the module which I'm most disappointed with the grade I got. Maybe I shall start from the very beginning when I was still contemplating on the topic for my thesis. It first started off as a very difficult decision as to when I should do my thesis. I had to choose between Semester 1 and Semester 2. Most people would do their thesis in Semester 2 and I do understand from my friends who took their thesis in Semester 2 that the graders decided to be very generous and would give out at least an A- to everyone who's doing thesis, much to my disappointment though. Anyway, I decided to do my thesis in Semester 1 after very much contemplation, mainly because I wanted to do a full-time internship in Semester 2 so I really needed to overload heavily in Semester 1. That's how my 30MCs came about. Next to decide on was the topic. All along, I had wanted to do a thesis on international trade preferably with Davin Chor. But because of my impromptu decision, I did not manage to take EC4341 International Trade II (that's how it was named back then) in Semester 2 of my third year. In fact, the only EC module I was taking in that semester was EC4332 Money and Banking II. During the start of the semester, I still wasn't enticed into switching my topic. I didn't really like EC4332 in the beginning cos it was too theoretical and I couldn't see the application of it. But gradually, as we moved into Week 7 or so, the material Martin Bodenstein was teaching became very interesting. It was starting to get very policy-related. Then I decided, he's the one who's gonna be my thesis supervisor. I think it really makes things easier when your supervisor knows you personally beforehand. Also, his style and way of thinking is really something I admire. Eventually, this all seem to fall rightly into place as I was told that I was the highest scorer for the finals. The A+ also came to me as a sort of reaffirmation of my decision. At that point in time, I wasn't thinking about doing an empirical thesis at all perhaps because I've gotten enough exposure from Dr Song while I was working as an RA for him and I really wanted to try something different. That's why I decided to do a theoretical thesis with Martin Bodenstein, analyzing the effectiveness of monetary policy using a New Keynesian Model. I must say that the process was painful, very painful in fact. Nonetheless, being able to survive through this arduous process is still something I derive great satisfaction from. I really underestimated the difficulty of coding up a model that runs through 72 equations. Making sure everything equilibrates wasn't an easy feat. Prof. Bodenstein had warned me how difficult this process would be. To think I even wanted to come up with such a model on my own. I am really thankful for all his patience and guidance while I was trying to get past obstacles after obstacles. Even he and the assessors themselves acknowledged that such a thesis could only be done at graduate level. However, it remains that I didn't manage to impress one of the assessors enough (as much as I don't wish to reveal too much details of this). Indeed, as I was told later on after I got my grade, it just takes one assessor's grading to be off the mark and there goes the A. Yeap, so I ended up with an A-. I was truly disappointed with it. I really enjoyed every bit of my thesis but the final grade failed me. As much as I don't regret doing a model that is difficult to get it up and running in the first place, I wished I had more time to work on my thesis. I could have done a much more robust analysis if I was given more time. Back then, I really pondered hard over whether it was a rash decision to have cleared 30MCs. Really, it was gonna be fine if there wasn't the irritating EC4103. But I guess the old saying that every cloud has a silver lining is true. Had I not overloaded in Semester 1, I couldn't have been able to do a full-time internship in Semester 2 and secured a job so easily. Yet at that point in time, I was really planning on doing a Master's or PhD especially after Prof. Bodenstein had strongly recommended me to do so. Apparently, he was very impressed with me and was thus quite taken aback as well that I didn't get an A but he emphasized that what's important about thesis is what I learnt from it not so much of the result itself. Indeed, I can't deny that I gained a hell lot of knowledge and skills through working with him over the three or four months. His advice has really opened me up to a whole lot of new perspectives. Then again, now that I think back, I also blame it on my writing skills. It really matters as to how the entire thesis is presented. I think I could have done a lot better in that aspect and until now, I'm still trying to improve on this weakness of mine. All I can say is for those who are looking to score an A or above, you don't have to be adventurous and do something that is very challenging like what I did. Rather, a simple technique is enough to get you to an A. I think this is the misconception that many have; that we all must apply those very difficult stuff in order to get the A. But this is really not the case. I know of people who did very simple econometrics techniques and still got away with an A or even A+. If you really wanna work on difficult stuff, it's your choice to boost your knowledge even further and it remains that there are still people who manage to get the best of both worlds: do something challenging and still score well. Personally, as much as I'm truly disappointed by the result, I still never regretted working on the topic that I did. It was really an eye-opener and I got exposed to something very different from the usual things I had been learning. I've become so interested in monetary policy ever since then, so much so that I'm beginning to question myself right now whether there's a chance I'll go back to do what I love most.

After collecting my degree scroll last Monday, it now feels like I've really officially graduated. And last Monday was probably my last time stepping foot into NUS. It felt a little out of place to be back in NUS though maybe cos I've not been attending school in my final semester. Right now, it also does feel a little strange that I'm not preparing for a new semester and not gonna be attending classes this week. Graduation marks the end of almost 20 years of education, but it also marks the start to a new stage of my life. So far, I've been using quite a bit of my econometrics knowledge at work and I'm appreciative of that. Nonetheless, I still don't deny that it is not easy to look for a job that allows us to apply wholly what we've learnt in school (referring specifically to my major). Well, maybe you might be able to if you go to places involving actual economics research perhaps like MTI ES (one of the organizations which always comes down to give us talks). But man, I feel thankful that my job exposes me to quite a lot of areas that I've never come across in school. Very often, I have to read papers and it almost feels like self-enrichment rather than work itself. Unfortunately, I think many see their job as just something to get through perhaps bcos of the scope of work too. Anyway, I guess to end off well, I'll put up my final module review as well as a separate post on my thesis soon, both of which are quite overdue. 

Reflections

While probably everyone's at the commencement today, here I am blogging at the comfort of home. After a few days of hard work, I can finally get a break tonight to relax and chill a bit. At the same time, I'm starting to reflect a bit on my life now. I feel really contented with my life right now. Family, relationship, career. It's all complete. Looking back, I realized just how much I've grown over the last few years. A little more than four years ago, I found my significant other, someone whom I know I can spend my entire life with. He has given me so much support over these few years. There are times when I get very obstinate over certain things and he'll always be the wise one leading me out of the dead end. Not to forget, I also thank God for all that I have now. Of course, I am truly grateful for all the opportunities that have been given to me thus far. The trust in me is not something I take for granted. I do realize though, that life can be so simple. It doesn't have to be an endless pursuit of fame and wealth. Well, I can't deny that I would enjoy those but sometimes I think that as human beings, we place so much importance on certain things that we overlook more important things in life. As a simple illustration, say for example someone who is mindlessly targetting for FCH and takes all sorts of modules just to boost his CAP versus someone who is genuinely keen to learn and gain new knowledge. These two people will just take such different paths later on in life. Who will succeed more? Well, some things are dependent on luck but never be too short-sighted. I daresay I know of quite many friends who graduated with second upper honours and they actually took away a whole lot more than a first class student. Then again, we have those really smart ones who can score well despite any module they take. Nonetheless, a true FCH student really stands out from the average dude you see around. They are inquisitive by nature, they are always willing to learn, to pick up new skills and knowledge. These are truly the people who go far in life. Not only are they intelligent, they make full use of their intelligence and even go the extra mile to boost their intelligence. As for those who aren't so fortunate to be born with good brains like me, fret not. The thing is find out your weaknesses and strengths as well as interests as much as I do think interests can be cultivated. You have to draw a line between what's practical and whether your intelligence is able to handle it. I personally made the decision to switch from a second major in Math to a second major in Stats simply because I can't handle Math. It was a tough decision at that point in time. But the hard truth is I am just not intelligent enough to handle Math. I admit it. I was once feeling inferior cos of that but after completing my university education, I realized there are always alternate routes for you. If you can't do this, then try something else. Don't dwell too much on it. I eventually found Stats more useful for me. It perfectly complements my knowledge in Econs. And since I decided I'm not suitable for a postgrad, Math is not gonna help me much. Then again, don't stop yourself from learning new things in your free time. Just cos we're not good at it and for practicality's sake, we shouldn't risk our results doesn't mean that we can't learn it on our own. Aw man, did I deviate too much? Back on track, I think it's all wonderful now. Relationship wise, it just makes me realize how simple happiness can be. Family wise, always so thankful to have such understanding kin. Work wise, I feel compelled to think faster and faster everyday. I really appreciate how meaningful my work is cos it makes me realize how fragile life can be and how much of a helping hand we can lend. And this gives me the drive to work harder and take time out to understand what I have to. In short, it's all about finding what motivates you in life. Some can search for the entire lifetime but still don't get to live their life to the fullest whereas the lucky ones have always been living life with a purpose.

I'm kinda in the blogging mood today so shall blog about some random stuff. For readers who are looking forward to my module review, I guess you may be disappointed cos I'm having second thoughts about posting my final module review. Uh well, maybe I'll change my mind later on. Anyway, it's been almost a week since I've started working. Yup you read that right. Most of my friends are still enjoying the supposed last break in our lives. Nah, zero interest in going for a graduation trip for me. Then again, it wasn't my choice at all to start this early but since I was asked to, why not yeah? But I gotta say I'm enjoying my job a lot. It isn't the best job to many but to me, I'm very contented with what I landed myself in cos it's something that I've always been wanting to go into: policy research. Actually, half of me knew that it was quite certain I would be getting the job based on what my colleagues have been telling me. I guess it really helped that I sacrificed the whole of last semester in a more worthy investment. Why not right since my CAP can't increase any further to reach the highest class of honours. Speaking of which, seeing people who made a leap and crossed the border to graduate with first class honours this semester actually made me realize one thing. It isn't of that much use if you got first class honours only in the final semester and not in Y4S1. Cos usually people start their job search using their Y4S1 results, isn't it? By now, most people would have secured a job. Or ok, that was too sweeping a statement. Jeez, I can't deny that the economy's not looking that good for graduates now. I do know of quite a handful who's still caught in the midst of securing their desired job. Can't blame them for not making do with just any kinda job though it's already pretty late at this point in time. Cos your first job really matters and it already kinda determines the line of industry you're going down in the future. I really attribute a lot of what I have now to sheer luck. So many opportunities have been given to me since the start of the year. I'm truly thankful. Yes, I had to be bold enough to speak up for what I want and on my part, I really forked out a lot to make myself worthy of all the opportunities. I could never have dreamt of all these recognition had I decided to stick with my previous workplace. Stable job, conducive environment, challenging work, great colleagues, appreciative superior. What more can I ask for? Quite frankly, I didn't expect myself to even land a job this early, let alone a desired job. Everything just fell nicely into place despite my mediocre degree and commonplace class of honours. I'm so grateful for everything. I remember telling my fiance back in our third year that I hope not to have to attend his commencement cos it means I would have secured a job by then. Not that he wants to either way despite his fabulous achievements. How proud I am of him. Anyway, back to the point, I can't believe this really came true. Looking back, I'm so glad I managed to break out of the curse and come this far. Sacrifices have been made. Loads of them. Maybe the biggest one was a tough fourth year. Overloaded heavily in semester 1 and dedicating full-time, juggling studies at the same time in semester 2. I'm fortunate that this plan worked out exactly the way I wanted it to. Second half of 2015 until now was easily the most rewarding year of my life. Man, I learnt a hell lot in this period. From the huge project assigned to me as an RA to using the experience gained to secure my current job and not to forget, the enormous amount of skills and knowledge I gained while doing my thesis. Gotta feel real thankful for everything. Shall continue to strive hard in the future. Till I move onto the next stage of my life...

Postgraduate studies, maybe? Maybe not...

Am I happy that I finally finished my four years of university education? My answer half a year ago would be entirely different from my answer now. Six months ago, I had just completed my thesis. I gotta say that at that point in time, I was seriously toying with the idea of doing a postgraduate degree. I thought I wasn't qualified at all to even think about it but strong recommendation from my thesis supervisor swayed me. And he wasn't the only one. There were a few other TAs or lecturers who also agreed that I shouldn't stop at just an undergraduate degree. Even so, I did not think that I would be able to last through another four years or so. I was only good at certain aspects of Economics. And this time, I knew who I would be up against if I do decide to take up a Master's or PhD. The much more mathematical content at graduate level would favour those who already had a background in engineering, mathematics or even statistics. Yet at the same time, I can't deny that I really love studying. I love it a lot more than the situation I envisioned myself to be in if I were to take up a job outside of academics. Not surprisingly, I began asking around for advice, seeing how I could get a sponsor if I were to further my studies, whether I should work for a few years first or carry on studying straight etc. This continued on for quite some time... Not until two people each told me something. What they said made me think hard, really hard. Only then did I realize that this was just a fleeting idealistic side of me.

"Perhaps now you've been studying a lot so you may think that Master's is for you. Have you thought that there are many things you may enjoy but it's just that you haven't really gotten to know what those things are? Who knows, you might eventually find something that you love doing." 

This sentence sort of struck me. Actually, I think it's the same case with all my friends. Most of them prefer school life over work life. Hey, I mean is there anything better than being able to exercise your freedom to the maximum and choose the way you wanna lead your university education? In contrast, at work, you gotta be used to doing things you may not actually like and following instructions you may not agree with. In school, you get to learn the things you wanna learn, things you find interesting to learn. At work, you are forced to learn the things you need to learn, things you may not find one bit interesting to learn, things you may even hate. That's probably the mindset of many people I know. Precisely why people always say enjoy life as a student while you can. Yes, indeed, in my previous internship, there was one colleague who told me this as well. As a working adult, there are many things in life you cannot retrieve back when you were a student. Working life is a lot more restrictive than student life. I agreed. I agreed thoroughly. But one and a half year later, I realized why I agreed at that point in time and not anymore now.  

"Can you imagine yourself in the kind of life you would have upon completing your PhD? You'll eventually be a Professor. But not just that, you will have to start initiating research topics on your own, find yourself the funding plus collaborators be it local or overseas and attend conferences from time to time. And be prepared it's gonna last for a long long time."

I think I was so carried away with the "goodness" of studying that I totally forgot to think about how life would be when I finish my studies. If you ask me, I don't actually enjoy having to initiate my own research topics, having to attend presentations after presentations, having to find interested parties who would be willing to collaborate with me on my project. Some people may say yeap, then I am definitely not suitable for research cos I can't even initiate research topics on my own. Then my response is I can do it for a while but not for the rest of my life. There comes a point that I want to cease being recognized for the research that I publish. Instead, I want my research to be translated to something tangible. I want it to be guided because I know there's now a pressing need somewhere in the world to study something. From my experience working as a research assistant, I feel that there are many times in which Professors engage in mindless research or maybe this holds only for certain courses. Like yeah, the research they're producing is interesting to read, interesting to know but after a while it stops at being "fun facts". Half the time or most of the time, the stuff they do is not gonna translate to action. I don't like to be in that position. I want the things I do to be useful. 

Why do I no longer agree with the comment that working life is not as enjoyable as life as a student? It's because I am lucky enough to land myself a job that I really like. I know I really like it because I have been through it for almost four months now. In my previous internship, I didn't get to do what I like. In fact, I hated what I was doing. I recall how time was literally crawling during that period. Coupled with previous designations, it inevitably made me stereotype that working life is indeed gonna be like that. At that time, I had the choice to accept this as my first job. I am really glad that I wasn't rash. It sucks to be forced into doing something you hate just because of securing a job. My point is this. Most of us are stuck in our little world. Probably it may also be because my course is actually pretty general a degree. It's unlike say engineering. Those who know they're gonna be engineers after graduation only gotta choose the industry they wanna enter. For us, it's a bit tricky because there's really quite a lot of general jobs we can do. Yet it is not easy to find a specific technical job. Of course, as pragmatic a person as I am, I don't deny that many things in life do come with a bit of luck. It was luck that I got accepted as an intern amidst the competition. It was luck that there just happens to be one job vacancy that I can fill in. So never be too short-sighted and stubbornly deem one thing as the only possible thing you can imagine yourself doing for the rest of your life. If you don't venture out enough, you never know if there are other things out there you may enjoy a hell lot more.

Feeling thankful

So I got the official confirmation last evening. As much as it was 99% certain I would get it, there was still the remaining 1% of uncertainty. I'm feeling real grateful that everything has naturally fallen into place for me and I'm able to do something I really like and accumulate experience from what I believe is gonna be the area of interest for me for the rest of my life. And now, I can really say that I am prepared to move onto the next stage of my life.

IT'S OVER

Yeap so I just completed my last paper of the semester, and probably of my life. Here's to rounding up four years of my education at NUS. I gotta say that these four years have been the most rewarding years of my education. By the way, though I created this blog with academics in mind, I believe I'm still gonna be updating it from time to time in the near future. As for now, I'm not really in the writing mood so I shall pen down my thoughts sometime later. Till next time, folks. And yes, I'm ready to move onto the next stage of my life!